June 27, 2008, Friday

-$39.89 on 14,200 shares traded.

I have this unnatural tendency to panic. Well, I guess that’s still normal, and that makes me human.
When I have a position that escapes my stop-loss in TA (technical analysis), I panic too much and press the exit button. But panic clouds your judgment, and most certainly when you expected that things will go your way…

Sayang. Yun ang laging nababanggit sa office. Madali lang ang manghinayang…

By my guesstimates, I feel that Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are more “readable” than Mondays and Fridays. May mga araw na nasasakyan mo, pero may mga araw din na hindi. Kanya-kanyang raket lang ‘yan.

June 26, 2008, Thursday

$30.98 on 7,800 shares traded.

My real office made a record total profit today. Yey! Team Kulas rules.

Thoughts for today:
I lost -$17 from AT&T, but gained $47 from Walmart. I have more confidence selling stocks short. Mornings are easier to read. The charts in the afternoon are more unreliable, I lost as much as $15 before gaining a turnaround.

June 25, 2008, Wednesday

-$9.22 on 11,200 shares traded.

Huhuhu. Morning session: almost always negative (-$10). Lunchtime: pretty positive ($18). w00t. Then the Fed Report pretty sealed my fate: a series of losses amounting to $18. It was very erratic by 2:15pm, and afterwards. I hated every single moment of it.

June 24, 2008, Tuesday

-$7 on 14,400 shares traded.

Okay, today’s trading was really rather exciting, volatile but still readable. Walmart moved in a large intraday range (56.25 to 57.85), and there were a series of crests and troughs.

I had fun even with a -$7 on my blotter. At the start, it climbed up to $10, then I misunderstood everything and dumped to -$9, then it went up again to $12, and then I finally ended up with -$7.
The good news is I was able to contain my losses within [10,-10].

June 23, 2008, Monday

-$51.73 on 5,800 shares traded.

I can’t really be imaginative with the title. I mean, if the losses go on forever, I’d rather be suffering from some kind of curable cancer than die of a heart stroke because of trading… Seriously.

I need help. But I can’t find a master trader who can train me. Miss ***** is too busy, and I find it awkward to bug her everytime. Miss ***** is too strict, and… never mind.

The four of us in my batch awfully needs some support, mostly psychological. I’m just holding on, you know.

June 20, 2008, Friday

$23.33 on 3,400 shares traded.

Today is quadruple-witching day, and to Investopedia.com, it’s when “contracts for stock index futures, stock index options, stock options and single stock futures (SSF) all expire. Quadruple witching days occur on the third Friday of March, June, September and December.”

To me, it simply means changing my chart from ESM8.NA to ESU8.NA (that’s the symbol for the S&P futures). Goodbye ESM8.

Most significantly, today was highly, no, extremely volatile, especially with Walmart, so despite some big losses there and then, I managed to climb higher by 11:30. I decided to stop trading then, and went instead with my college barkada for a weekend chat. Sweet.

June 19, 2008, Thursday

-$36 on 12,900 shares traded.

Learning is a continuous process. Perhaps, the best lesson I learned today was to stay patient.

Mark, one of my co-traders here in our trading floor, has the longest patience I’ve ever seen. He can hold a position and stay emotionless for minutes, or hours even. I know that his strategy should work well with sound technical analysis,  and I’m already quite versatile at TA. But my number one enemy now is panic. I have to control it somehow…

June 18, 2008, Wednesday

-$50 on 8,800 shares traded.

Rules are rules. It’s just that, I don’t understand why it’s not helping me at all. Think about it: if in every single trade, I weren’t to cut my losses at -$3, the position I had would have easily rebounded to at least $2 or even $5.

Ang inaalala ko lang, iba naman kasi ang iniisip ng mga boss ko dito. Baka sabihin nila na sinasadya ko ang losses bawat trade. [I worry much about what my bosses will say; it's not that I choose to lose everytime]

It’s difficult, you know. I’m thinking about giving it a mandatory rest, “it” being the trader career itself. I’m way overstressed with my current string of losses. My heart needs a little more lovin’ than this.

June 17, 2008, Tuesday

-$40 on 14,200 shares traded.

It’s quite difficult to put everything into words. I want my way out of here. No, seriously.
Every trade is like gambling, as many would put it. No matter how you calculate your risks, it’s still a 50-50 win-loss chance.

June 16, 2008, Monday

1:00pm. $6 on 9,800 shares traded. I ha*e you Lucas, whoever you are. I could have made $26 if you did not cut my position too early! you are such a bi*ch…

Oh well, I’ll get by, but not now. My face is still red with anger.

3:00pm. -$20 on 14,400 shares traded. I stopped trading earlier than the closing bell, because I know that trading with a heavy heart will not do me good.